Yes, this is a spider story.
About a week ago I was happily sitting here at the computer (as I do often) when I glanced up to see a huntsman spider sprawled out on a piece of paper attached to my noticeboard. This was less than one screen-width across from my display. So, of course, with a small yelp, I jumped back out of my seat and peered at it accusingly.
At this point, my mother rang. "I have a huntsman!" I said, before she could get a word out. I can't remember why she was ringing, but we talked a bit, amusement dripping from her voice as she offered the odd suggestion, while I regarded the spider warily, plotting how I was going to transfer it outside as soon as I got off the phone.
We disconnected, I replaced the phone on the cradle and came back to deal with the spider -- only to find that in that split second it had moved. I found it about 20cm higher on the board. For the next 10 minutes I watched it explore my noticeboard out of the corner of my eye, as I tried to do some work. It was hopeless. Eventually, however, it clambered across the wall and disappeared behind the bookshelf. Well, I thought, I can't get at it there, and so long as I can't see it, I can ignore it.
For a few days, I entered my study expecting to see it above the door, or on the computer keyboard . . . Nothing. It disappeared. Good.
But, a few more days later, it re-appeared in the bathroom, this time just above eye-level. Again, so long as it didn't look like it could 'get me', I was happy enough to leave it on the window sill. And when it disappeared again, I waited cautiously for it to re-establish its presence, hardly daring to believe that it might actually have gone for good this time.
And it hadn't. Next it re-appeared on the mirror. Disappeared. Now, it has re-appeared on the fan above the shower.
Clearly, this is an impossible situation! There is no way I'm going near that shower with a spider hovering directly overhead! I can only hope that overnight it will decide to reconsider this vantage and hide away again.
For how much longer will this spider taunt me? I do not want to kill it -- I can never squash things, nor can I bring myself to spray -- which means I may have to brace myself for the big transfer with glass and cardboard. I hate doing this. It completely freaks me out. But better than having a spider threatening to get me!