Thursday, 6 January 2011

Reflection 2010-2011

Perhaps it's human nature to feel the need to mark the passing of another year -- and the start of a new one -- with self-absorbed intense reflection. Whether or not this proves of interest to anyone other than myself remains to be seen, but I intend to continue the tradition. I like the fact I can read over last year's epistle and remember how upbeat and positive I was about my life at the time (although not so much that it reminds me of which milestones have still not been met).

In a great many ways, 2010 was a stand-out year, as expected. It was the year of Footsloggers and the Oxfam Trailwalker, an event that consumed me body and soul from January through April and left me with a resounding sense of achievement, fitness and general self-satisfaction. Then of course there was my recent travels in Europe, a mega-holiday of 2.5 months, and all the planning and gadget testing and general excitement in the lead-up. Both of these events have filled me with positive energy, a sense of purpose, and the conviction that I can take control of my life.

If I sound pensive, it's because with these two events defining my year, 2010 has not gone so well on the writing front. Aside from the brief spectacular highlight of Aussiecon 4 in September, I might as well have shed my desired 'writer' persona completely and replaced it with wannabe 'endurance athlete' (hehe) or 'intrepid traveller'. This was of course always on the cards when I embarked upon the twin adventures, but I am once again disappointed with my lack of application when I did have the time window available (except for my trainwriting in France/Spain, which I was very happy with).

So now that I have got all the other stuff out of my system, 2011 is going to be the year when I put writing (fiction) first. This is going to involve major work changes and some rigid goal-setting (I've decided I need deadlines). From somewhere I am going to need to find some self-belief as well. It's all very well to shake up one's life, but one needs to have faith that it will be worth it. However, since I can't at the moment imagine doing anything else, I'm going to have to take that leap -- even if it feels like I'll fall flat on my face.

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